In my previous post I talked about regression therapy and some of the issues I dealt with using the therapy. In that post I mentioned the 'Titanic girl' whose fiancee died in the tragedy. That we helped her see that it wasn't her fault and helped her to pass on wasn't the only important thing that happened in that session.
It really started with the atmosphere and feeling of the entire session, from when I walked through the door until I got home even. It was really light-hearted and we laughed through the entire thing. Which is odd, since it really wasn't very funny (although: what are the odds that I was one of the people who survived that boat!), but we just couldn't help it. Even when we tested the belief, if I make mistakes people die, we had to laugh. The only moment in the session when we didn't laugh was when we went back to her and I relived two of her last moments. First the moment she got stuck in, floating around in the pitchblack darkness on the middle of the ocean in a life-raft, not a sound and not a soul around (of course when she was still alive there were other people on the raft). It was such a sad, sad feeling. So strong and caught in my throat. The second moment, was her last moment with her fiancee. It was just as intense as the first moment, but there was a tenderness and romance to it that even Jack and Rose couldn't even dream of (or that could just be because I'm biased. First since it's part of my soul and second because I still can't get past Leonardo's babyface in that movie). There was also familiarity. I could not really 'see' a face, but I could feel his energy, and I knew it. The same joyous, nice and light-hearted energy I have seen in a very close friend. It then occured to me that the reason I recognized that energy is because it's the same soul. I met my friend before!
That energy was with us the entire session and it came back when I saw my friend at a party a week later (I had a huge fit of laughter just because I looked at him and thought about the session, he just stood by and looked awkward, haha!). The session was really amazing and gave insight in all these things I described above and in why I love men in fitting trousers, a white shirt and suspenders (man, do I have a thing for suspenders!).
I later did a session to help me let go of my feelings for my friend (see above). See, I am deeply in love with him, but he is in a very different place in life and it's not the place for relationships. In this session another life surfaced. A life in which I was a man living in the time of Oscar Wilde and was in love with the same soul as my friend's soul (yes, it's complicated). At the time he was also a man and he was also in love with my past life. However, he was not prepared to kick against social convention and face the consequences of being openly homosexual (you know back when you could get convicted for this) and rejected my past life. Sad, heartbroken, but understanding his choice (my incarnation knew back then he also loved him, but considering the time they lived in my incarnation didn't push it any further) my incarnation eventually got married to a woman (I don't know if I had any children, but that doesn't really matter). In my past life I died and even passed on. The other man, however, did not. He died a bitter man, who could not stop wondering: what if...
That connection was undeniably there and it never really left. I went to my past self, he was peaceful and it looked like he was in that one painting from Van Gogh with the stars (always had been my favorite, Doctor Who just made it worse) and we called in the other man. It then happened really quickly: they met, their energies mixed and poof they were gone. In that instant I felt the bitterness of the other man dissipate and turn into joy. They finally got to be together, after all that time... and I finally got to let go.
I will always love my friend, I will always care deeply for him and perhaps when we get older something will happen, but not now. And no matter how much I would love to wait for him, I have to live my life and do those things that I want to do. One of those things is emigrating to Great Brittain, an yes I'm serious about it and yes I'm going for it. One day it will happen, but not if I sit around waiting for him (and not if I sit around waiting for the move to happen either).
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