Creative ideas

A while back I saw something on internet. A short video where someone used small balloons and thread or wool to make a little box for chocolates.

There are several videos that show how to make them on youtube. It looked so cute that I wanted to give it a try. This is how I did it.

First I squeezed a foiled chocolate egg or two into the water balloons. This is quite a difficult task, but not impossible.
Once that was done, I blew up the balloons to the desired size and made a knot.

So far it's fairly straightforward. Now onto the messy part. I used a simple crafting glue (or children's glue) and mixed it with some water. Then I cut off several lengths of thread in desired colours and started with putting one in the glue. Once completely soaked I got it out, carefully squeezing exess glue out (with the second egg, the first one dripped all over the plastic). Then I randomly wrapped it around the balloon. This goes on untill the chocolate eggs can no longer fall out of the holes between the thread.

After that it's just a matter of letting it dry and popping the balloon. Then you have a cute egg shaped box with chocolate eggs inside!

Underneath are some pictures of my attempt (note that they're not dry yet, so the balloon's still in there):



Here's a link to just one of the youtube diy video's, in case you want to give it a try!
DIY easter decoration

Enjoy!

The Sidecut!

I have taken the plunge: I have a sidecut now!

So here is what it looks like from the front:

and this is what it looks like a bit more from the side:

 

Also: look at the length of my hair!! A year ago it was just a little longer and then I chopped it off. This time, though, I'm going to stick with it and get long hair! (pray for me dear readers, pray for me)

Past lives

In my previous post I talked about regression therapy and some of the issues I dealt with using the therapy. In that post I mentioned the 'Titanic girl' whose fiancee died in the tragedy. That we helped her see that it wasn't her fault and helped her to pass on wasn't the only important thing that happened in that session.

It really started with the atmosphere and feeling of the entire session, from when I walked through the door until I got home even. It was really light-hearted and we laughed through the entire thing. Which is odd, since it really wasn't very funny (although: what are the odds that I was one of the people who survived that boat!), but we just couldn't help it. Even when we tested the belief, if I make mistakes people die, we had to laugh. The only moment in the session when we didn't laugh was when we went back to her and I relived two of her last moments. First the moment she got stuck in, floating around in the pitchblack darkness on the middle of the ocean in a life-raft, not a sound and not a soul around (of course when she was still alive there were other people on the raft). It was such a sad, sad feeling. So strong and caught in my throat. The second moment, was her last moment with her fiancee. It was just as intense as the first moment, but there was a tenderness and romance to it that even Jack and Rose couldn't even dream of (or that could just be because I'm biased. First since it's part of my soul and second because I still can't get past Leonardo's babyface in that movie). There was also familiarity. I could not really 'see' a face, but I could feel his energy, and I knew it. The same joyous, nice and light-hearted energy I have seen in a very close friend. It then occured to me that the reason I recognized that energy is because it's the same soul. I met my friend before!

That energy was with us the entire session and it came back when I saw my friend at a party a week later (I had a huge fit of laughter just because I looked at him and thought about the session, he just stood by and looked awkward, haha!). The session was really amazing and gave insight in all these things I described above and in why I love men in fitting trousers, a white shirt and suspenders (man, do I have a thing for suspenders!).

I later did a session to help me let go of my feelings for my friend (see above). See, I am deeply in love with him, but he is in a very different place in life and it's not the place for relationships. In this session another life surfaced. A life in which I was a man living in the time of Oscar Wilde and was in love with the same soul as my friend's soul (yes, it's complicated). At the time he was also a man and he was also in love with my past life. However, he was not prepared to kick against social convention and face the consequences of being openly homosexual (you know back when you could get convicted for this) and rejected my past life. Sad, heartbroken, but understanding his choice (my incarnation knew back then he also loved him, but considering the time they lived in my incarnation didn't push it any further) my incarnation eventually got married to a woman (I don't know if I had any children, but that doesn't really matter). In my past life I died and even passed on. The other man, however, did not. He died a bitter man, who could not stop wondering: what if...

That connection was undeniably there and it never really left. I went to my past self, he was peaceful and it looked like he was in that one painting from Van Gogh with the stars (always had been my favorite, Doctor Who just made it worse) and we called in the other man. It then happened really quickly: they met, their energies mixed and poof they were gone. In that instant I felt the bitterness of the other man dissipate and turn into joy. They finally got to be together, after all that time... and I finally got to let go.

I will always love my friend, I will always care deeply for him and perhaps when we get older something will happen, but not now. And no matter how much I would love to wait for him, I have to live my life and do those things that I want to do. One of those things is emigrating to Great Brittain, an yes I'm serious about it and yes I'm going for it. One day it will happen, but not if I sit around waiting for him (and not if I sit around waiting for the move to happen either).

Regression therapy

Something I have been doing for a few months: regression therapy. I've had almost a dozen of sessions with my therapist and she mostly does a combination of regression therapy and theta healing.

What is regression therapy? Regression in this context merely means going back into the past. It can be this life or a past life. The therapy part means that you have an issue and it stems from something that happened in the past and you can work with that to resolve your current issue.

You may be wondering how I got to a regression therapist. Well that is a funny story. Ok, no it isn't exactly funny but it's interesting all the same. The friend of my mother did a little something with kinesiology (another difficult term: it works on the premise that body, emotion and soul are connected and in balance, if one of the elements is 'hurt' it shows in the others. In this case: if something is wrong at emotional or soul lever it shows in the body and you can test this. Those tests are basically kinesiology) and removed some bad promises I made to myself. She said that they were the basis for me believing I wasn't good enough, I didn't deserve to be good enough etc.
However, this was just the start on a new path that would change me forever and for the better too. Not that I'm necessarily a better person (I like to think I'm a pretty decent one, though), but I am closer to who I was always supposed to be and I'm much happier too.

Shortly after this kinesiology session, the fun started. I got into a train, nothing unusual, I decided to stand instead of opting for a seat, since I only have to go one stop, but then it all started. The sweating, tight feeling in my chest and blurry vision. I had the feeling I couldn't breathe and I was on the edge of a panic attack. The only things that kept me from completely losing it were the thoughts that kept going through my head: "WTF is this? Why is this?". I had no explanation. True, I have never particularly liked the train, I was always checking the display and the signs at each stop to make sure I was going where I wanted to be going and if I could avoid taking the train I would, but there was no reason for me to panic. I never saw anything happen with a train and no one I know ever had anything happen with a train, so what was this?

As I was mulling it over, there was a random thought in my head, a narration that seemed to have a life of its own. I said goodbye to my husband and baby and got on a train, a train to Auswitz. Well, that was a weird thought! I wanted to get to the bottom of it, so I found this regression therapist not too far away. I explained my issue, but I didn't mention the thought I had about it thinking I had possibly just imagined it and besides I didn't want to push her into that direction through bias (it's partly because I'm a I'll see it before I believe it kind of person). Well, it didn't take long to find out that in a past life, this did happen.
The therapist used kinesiology to test where the panic in the train came from: childhood or a past life. Then she testes different scenario's. What came out was that in a past life I was indeed a Jewish woman who got deported. After that she asked me to sit down and close my eyes in an effort to find her (as she was not conscious of being dead we wanted to help her pass over). It was there that I found she did have a husband, he was passed over now and he helped her to go, he even took her to see her daughter and grandchildren. There is a database website with names of people who died in concentration camps and even though I had little to go on (a name: Charlotte and the suspicion she died in Auswitz) I found her. With a picture. A Dutch woman who married a Belgian and moved to Antwerp and from there got sent to Auswitz. It was amazing.

I have worked on other issues too. Like, everytime I made a mistake I would feel a very intense fear. That turned out to be the misplaced fear and guilt of a young lady who had actually survived the tragedy of the Titanic, only to commit suicide because she felt like it was her fault the ship sank (just because she and her fiancee were somewhere they shouldn't be and he should've been on his post instead of being with her. On top of that he went down with the ship). Of course it wasn't her fault, that ship was doomed, but that feeling was so strong that I was still suffering from it. We fixed that.
We also worked on my fear of getting close to someone and my fear of dying alone. This was because in a past life I was a Roman soldier whose wife got stolen away. He felt so alone and vulnerable that he killed himself (you know classic style with a sword and everything).

There is much more to tell of course, but I will not continue now. It suffices to say that I have changed considerably during all this time and I have learned to deal with things a lot better and in a more constructive way.

Finally a new update =D

Last time we talked I just found an internship. That internship is now finished, well, has been for a few months actually.

It was a busy and interesting experience. Basically I ended up doing two internships, because the other interner got fired and someone had to do it. That all went pretty good. I'm not going to lie and say it was great, because there are things I believe I should've done better and there are some things I was a little unsatisfied about, but then again, nothing in life is perfect and I do have to say I learned a lot from the experience.

One of those things is: never slam a car door shut when your knee is in the way. I did on december 5th and I can tell you a few things about it: 1) it hurt like a motherf*cking b*tch, 2) it can get a little complicated when that pain doesn't go away and you need to travel 90 minutes to get to your internship and you're barely able to walk, 3) you need your knee for literally EVERYTHING, seriously you have no clue of the work that damn thing does until it can't and 4) it takes a damned long time to heal (it still isn't gone today).
I do have to point out that, while this is all very annoying and painful, I can count myself lucky that I didn't break my meniscus. If that were the case I would be in a lot of trouble, even needing knee surgery then. Lucky for me my meniscus was merely not in the right place anymore, causing my knee to be unable to move as it should, which resulted in irritation and infection of the tissue there (aka. more pain). My muscles are still not at the strenght they were at before my unfortunate accident, but at least I can walk, bike and drive my car again (pretty normally).

I have handed in the first draft for my internship report and I am currently working on my thesis. When all this is done I can graduate. I am really looking forward to it! A Master degree in Psychology and not one but two specialisations and good grades and I have to say I'm really proud.